There are times when you might legitimately feel that avoidance would be the best strategy that you could take. I have a couple of examples that spring straight to my mind.
The first is when I was introducing someone at a local community event, and a big part of her introduction was in Te Reo Māori. Now anyone that knows me, knows I have the ability to mangle English words beyond recognition. So the thought of having to get up there and announce in Te Reo Māori, really did make me think that if I could avoid the whole thing all together we all might be a lot better off.
It started with a pink pair of Converse sneakers, that, due to the clutter in my house, I couldn’t find.
I wasn’t sure if they were hidden under a pile of stuff in my bedroom, buried by the front door, or perhaps they were under a mountain of paper in my office. I wondered if in fact they had been stolen… perhaps by a visitor to my house who couldn’t help but be attracted to these pretty fantastic Andy Warhol Converse, size 11 pink sneakers. A lot of people would say that such an attraction is surely an impossibility, but I say that this is a very real prospect, at the very least.
So, I realized that I needed to de-clutter my house.
I’ve been running a couple of groups lately called the emotional life of the group. My thinking behind this was around how often emotions rear up and become visible in groups.
This can either be in long term groups where they have their own emotional life. Where some of the group members know each other very well and it is very hard for new group members to come in. Where there has been a change in how things are done and a segue. Where there has been a challenge to previous ways of doing things as to whether it is still a necessary or even helpful way of operating in the world. Where some members have done their dash, and leave, and suddenly the group has dwindled down to very few, then you build it back up again but it is never the same as it was before. This is all the emotional life of a group in terms of the life cycle of groups.